Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Nothing but a Family Thing

I gave the bare bones on Twitter, but I need to get this out.

I had a horrible childhood. My mother was distant, my father absent, my uncles and older cousins were predators.

My dad's younger sister was a sweet, loving woman, born to the wrong family. She deserved better. All of the sweetness and tenderness I remember from my childhood came from her.

We drifted apart in the last few years--there's a lot of miles between us, she became foster mother to two of my second cousins when their mother died, and as an adult, the pain my dad's family caused me pushed me to become very aloof toward my relatives.

We talked on Facebook sometimes. Not often. She'd had some health problems. Something wrong with her wasn't emphysema (not yet, anyway) but she'd been a two pack a day smoker for years. Now she carries an oxygen tank, and can't really draw a full breath. She had some knee and hip problems, she has fibromyalgia.

On Monday night, her daughter called to chat around nine. They talked for a few minutes, Aunt said she was tired. Her son called just after ten, and got no answer. He assumed she'd gone to bed. He went over to her house around 8 on Tuesday morning, and found her barely breathing, unconscious,  face down on the floor of her room. An empty six pack of beer was beside her, as was a prescription bottle. It was her muscle relaxers, and they believe she took about 90 pills.

She meant to die.

She has not regained consciousness. She will have an MRI either later tonight or tomorrow morning. We will find out then if she gets her wish. If there is no brain activity, the family will withdraw life support.

This hurts. I wish she'd called me. I wish I'd called her. I wish she didn't hurt so much that she thought this would help.

Please send good thoughts. Her name is Violet.